Ugh.

October 6, 2008 at 3:17 pm 1 comment

Major procrastination day. I woke up with the blues. Dunno why, but I can’t seem to kick it. Self doubt by the bucketful, feeling slightly depressed, can’t really see the point of doing anything. I hate days like today, and I can’t seem to get it to go away.

What do you do when you feel like this? It’s completely creatively crippling (check out the alliteration in that sentence). I’m just having one of those days when all of your flaws, and your weaknesses and your self doubts seem to rise out of nowhere and have a hey day. My inner judges are throwing a party, and I’m the main course AND dessert. And your art falls by the wayside, because when you feel worthless, your art suddenly seems to have no point anymore.

So how do you fight it? How do you turn the tide on feeling useless? I did a lot of journaling today, exploring how I came to feel this way, but the deeper I explored, the more I seemed to find, until it overwhelmed me. There’s a lot of wounds from my past that haven’t been healed yet, and a lot of mindsets that I would like to overcome. It was too much. I gave up. I’ve been sitting here since, getting nothing done. Maybe the silence will help. Sometimes silence is healing.

However, tomorrow is a new day. Small changes can be made, habits reformed, new beliefs acquired. Dignity regained, and self confidence grown. There’s always hope for a better day.

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Entry filed under: Fear. Tags: , , .

Photoshoots and preparations. I love this girl.

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. originalpurity  |  October 24, 2008 at 8:15 pm

    OK, this is my last comment 🙂

    I recall watching the film “Contact” in which Jodie Fosters character is recalling the words of her father…”Small Steps”…

    It always stayed with me…sky scrapers are made one brick at a time…all we have is small steps…and with them we can reshape our world.

    Its a nice blog you got going –

    Kal

    Reply

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