You’re scared, I’m scared. We’re all scared. Its okay.

November 1, 2008 at 12:06 pm 5 comments

Some days I hate business stuff. Sorry, that’s a lie. I love all the business stuff. I think what I hate is the decision making.

The “OHMYGODALLOFTHISISUPTOMEANDIDONTKNOWWHATIMDOING!” decision making.

Be the captain of your life!

Be the captain of your life!

And you know what it boils down to? Fear. Again. It always comes back to our friend fear. You know, there’s always two paths – growth, or stuckness. (This isn’t a word. I know. Leave me alone.) You either grow and change, or you stay exactly where you are, which is probably not that great of a place. But the fear of the unknown is greater.

Here’s what I’m getting stuck on – I want to change my website domain to sarahmarielacy.com. (Please don’t go buy this name. I will cry.) I want to expand from not just art, but to being able to help people as well, specifically those with CFS, to give them resources for coping etc. So just having my name, without the art bit, would make more sense.

I also want to switch hosting services, because my current one sucks (and that’s a technical term). I also want to buy IttyBiz’s “SEO School“, because apparently it rocks and I could do with some SEO help. I also need to order new business cards, but I don’t want to do that until I’ve got the new domain, if I even change it at all. I also want an email address that isn’t a hotmail account. And I kind of want to buy the Dance of Shiva, at FluentSelf.com. Which is totally not related to anything else, but sounds awesome anyways.

All of these things cost money. And money brings out fear in us all. It brings out the “But what if I buy this and then next week I lose all of my money, and no one ever wants a painting again and I’m just going to starve to death in a garret somewhere, and everyone will forget about me and its all because I bought that new domain name!” Insert whatever product you’re thinking of buying but is instead scaring the crap out of you.

And I know that for me, all of these purchases are about expansion. All of them are about growing towards the future that I really want, with the business that I really want. But holy shit, it is scary.

But its kind of supposed to be. I mean, life is scary. Anything outside of our comfort zone is scary. Fear cannot be eradicated. It can only be befriended. It can only be hugged, and comforted. Told reassuring things – that its safe, that everything is going to be okay. That we can not only survive, but thrive.

And its totally okay if we’re shaking-in-our-little-booties scared. Because as we hug our fear, and tell it that we’re safe, we are able take tiny little steps towards our goals, which are always everything we’ve ever wanted and everything we’ve ever feared. You can’t have one without the other.

But my god, aren’t those dreams worth their weight in fears?

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Entry filed under: Fear. Tags: , , , .

My experiment in positive thinking. World saving has been postponed.

5 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Kal  |  November 1, 2008 at 5:28 pm

    Good Day Sarah,

    I kind of know how you feel – when I started writing my short books on holistic therapies – http://www.healingbooks.net – I really was worried for ages.

    I was spending a tremendous amount of money on a venture that I had no idea would pay off – not only that – taking a year of work to do so too.

    All that expense and time used up on a – chance – if you like. It was well scary – and although the venture succeeded and paid for itself and a little more – I learned one really valueable lesson…

    “Its not the success or failure that is important – is whether you took the journey”

    Since taking that journey – I now love taking journeys – some fail and some succeed, it doesn’t matter – I love the journey.

    Hope that helps.

    Should you want any advice regarding setting up websites etc – its one of my talents 🙂 drop me a line.

    Take care and Be Blessed

    Kal

    Reply
  • 2. badkittyartstudio  |  November 2, 2008 at 7:03 pm

    Run straight at your fear and your life will be huge, run away and life will be small. Failure is part of it all, it’s OK to not know, it’s OK to do it anyway and it’s OK to make mistakes too. The oposite of fear is not courage, it is love…more to the point it is the love of self and faith in what-ever-happens-I’ll-make it-work-anyway thinking…and work, lots and lots and lots of work. Investing in a brand name is a good idea, especially for the self representing artist of any kind. The internet has changed how the world sees itself. That’s a good thing. & transition isn’t supposed to feel good, or else none of us would ever get through it at all. 🙂 All the best to you!

    Reply
  • 3. Havi Brooks (and duck)  |  November 2, 2008 at 11:44 pm

    Sarah, this is really beautiful.

    And I think you’ve hit on something important when you talk about the symbolic value of “expansion”.

    Because each decision is symbolically standing in for biggification and growing your work … it’s that much scarier because of the POSSIBILITY that it represents.

    I think you’re right to go about being kind to your fear.

    And once it feels reassured it will be a lot easier to look at your decisions and evaluate them without all those symbolic layers.

    Maybe you’ll come to the conclusion that what you need help with right now is marketing, and that driving traffic with Naomi’s awesome SEO school can come later. Maybe you’ll come to the conclusion that you can use your marketing skills to make a certain amount of money, to then invest in things like the Dance of Shiva brain training stuff or in Naomi’s stuff or whatever it is that you know can help you take off.

    But the important thing is that you’re in dialogue with the fear. Which is huge. HUGE.

    Love it. Love how you’re going about this and modeling it for the rest of us. Beautiful.

    Reply
  • 4. Wanted: Horse. White or otherwise. « Sarah’s Blog  |  November 7, 2008 at 10:00 am

    […] talked about the scariness of business decisions the other day. And I’ve been pondering that, and reading what other people have to say about […]

    Reply
  • […] talked about the scariness of business decisions the other day. And I’ve been pondering that, and reading what other people have to say about […]

    Reply

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