Learning to be me, one day at a time.

November 27, 2008 at 12:14 pm Leave a comment

I talked about money issues the other day. In my attempt to resolve them, I decided to borrow some money books from the library. Turns out they really got me thinking about my journey the past year and so I thought I’d share my thoughts with you here.


So you know how I said the other day that I felt like there was this disconnect between me and my ambition? And the lovely Kate mentioned the Artist’s Way, and that fear is often the thing that blocks us, and I thought, yep, she’s right on.

So I sat and had a conversation with that fear this morning. And I think I’ve come to some sort of conclusion – the life that I want to create, the things that I want to accomplish and the goals that I am passionate about are huge. And that scares the bejeezers out of me, because I feel like, who am I to want to create this totally awesome life? Who am I to think that I could even do any of this stuff?

Two years ago though, I did think I could accomplish all of these things. I felt like I was walking a path. Which brings me to something that I don’t often talk about, but I’ve decided that I’m going to today.


I don’t often talk about faith, or spirituality, I think because mine is very personal, and doesn’t quite fit in with the rest of my family’s. (Father and sister are fairly atheist, my mother was raised a strict Christian.)

For me, the Artist’s Way strongly influenced my ideas about a higher power and intuition, I think because they really resonated with me. So let’s just say I believe in a conscious universe.

Two years ago, I really felt like I was walking a path with my art and with helping people with CFS. Even a year ago, when I had my first solo show, I still felt like I was going in the right direction, like my heart was being pulled along by a small, still voice. I knew little about business or marketing or anything like that, but I was hopeful and ready to try anything.

But then I started learning about the business side of art, and became completely confused. Suddenly, I needed a business plan, and goals and a marketing plan and a USP and ads and branding and an image and story.

Wait, I’m a corporation?

I was completely thrown off, but thought that this was what I needed to really be successful, to truly make a living. I needed to create this whole other thing, this thing where my personality was hidden and I was this faceless, corporate entity. That was how you made money.

So I buried my personality, and went to work being a corporation. Do you know how much money I made after that? Well let’s see…

Pre-Corporation (Oct. 1st-Dec. 21st, 2007) – $1250.00

Post-Corporation (Dec. 22nd, 2007 – Nov. 27th, 2008) – $539.00

Yep. I made twice as much in 6 weeks last year than I did in 11 months this year.

And I’m not trying to lay any blame – I don’t think that I was corrupted by the marketers and business people of the world. I just think that I inherently misunderstood what they were trying to show me. One person at the very beginning explained it to me wrong and I was led to understand that your personality had nothing to do with business and it was all about charts and psychology and manipulating people to buy because your marketing messages play on their fear or happiness.

Which I now know is wrong. But all that marketing and business stuff I learned? Totally still important and vital and awesome.

But what’s really important here is that I’ve noticed this happened. And it also means that I can change it.

So I’m going to start injecting my personality back into my business and my website. I’m no longer going to worry about the psychology of my business, or my marketing messages or my “story.”

I’m going to let myself be me. Which, by the way, is completely and totally terrifying. Because for some reason I think that all of my customers are GM employees with no sense of humour or spirituality and everyone is going to just think I’m a quack, and no one will ever again buy a painting from me.

And you know what else I’m going to do? I’m going to let a little faith come back into it. I’m going to start listening to myself again, and see if I can’t start feeling like I’m back on that path. I’m a little lost in the woods right now, but I’m pretty sure I can find it again.

And I don’t regret losing it – I feel like I needed to go through it to really get how important the “Me” factor is in my business. I learned that trusting myself and my own instincts are my best bet for success.

Oh, and the fact that I’ll be ten million times happier.


Entry filed under: Art, Art Marketing, Stuff That I Can't Categorize. Tags: , , , , , , .

The drought is over. Finally. Positivity Fridays: What a week.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Trackback this post  |  Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed

%d bloggers like this: